Machine Gun Kelly's new documentary shows the highs and lows of the Ohio artist's career and touches on a moment when he attempted suicide.
On Monday (June 27), the rapper-rocker's new documentary, Life in Pink, premiered in New York City. In it, he recalls a recent moment in his life where he was about to end it all after being distraught over his father's passing.
"I flew to my dad's apartment to clear all this stuff out. I had this really weird interaction with this neighbor who told me all these things I didn't want to hear," Machine Gun Kelly says in the film, according to People. MGK's father died on July 5, 2020. "That fucked me up even more because I couldn't get closure on it. I wouldn't leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark."
Machine Gun Kelly says his paranoia began to peak, resulting in him sleeping with a shotgun next to his bed, until one day when he "fucking snapped."
"I called [girlfriend Megan Fox], I was like, 'You aren't here for me,'" he added. "I'm in my room and I'm like freaking out on her and dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth and I'm yelling on the phone and like the barrel's in my mouth. I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan's like dead silent."
The harrowing situation allowed Machine Gun Kelly realize he needed help to heal from the trauma caused by his father's death.
"Currently, my drug of choice is happiness and commitment to the art, rather than commitment to a vice that I believed made the art," he said at the time. "I'm taking steps. I had my first therapy session last Thursday. That's the first time I ever went, 'Hey, I need to separate these two people,' which is Machine Gun Kelly and Colson Baker. The dichotomy is too intense for me."
Machine Gun Kelly is currently in the midst of his Mainstream Sellout Tour along with Trippie Redd, Iann Dior, Travis Barker and more. He recently announced he will be returning to rap after dropping two rock albums.
If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or contemplating self-harm, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text TALK to 741741 or visit Speakingofsuicide.com