The Real Reason Khloé Kardashian Was Left Fuming by Her Ex-Husband Lamar Odom Torching Her Treasured Diaries 

What she did not say publicly at the time, according to sources close to her, is she was dreaming the diaries could form the backbone of a deeply personal screen project documenting her marriage, its collapse and her survival.

“I remember sobbing, tears streaming down my face,” Kardashian said. “I could remember me on my knees, screaming.”

Kardashian married Odom in 2009 after a whirlwind romance, when he was a star with the Los Angeles Lakers.

The marriage unraveled amid Odom’s drug addiction, which he has since spoken about publicly.

Kardashian filed for divorce from the troubled athlete in 2013, paused proceedings after his near-fatal overdose in 2015, and finalized the split in 2016.

The journals, she said, were central to how she processed those years. “Everything was in these journals,” Kardashian said. “It was years of my life in these journals, and they meant so much to me.”

Writing, she explained, had been “incredibly therapeutic” – a private record of her thoughts, fears and hopes during the most turbulent period of her life.

Sources say the journals were also something more. One insider said the journals were never meant to remain private forever.

They added: “Khloé had spoken about turning them into the foundation of a deeply personal film, something far removed from reality television or branding. The idea was to use her own words, written in real time, to tell a much grittier and more truthful version of her life than anything she had ever shown publicly.”

According to Kardashian, Odom destroyed the diaries during a period of addiction-fueled paranoia.

“He was incredibly paranoid and found these journals that he knew I did all the time and was reading them and just was convinced that I was like, taking notes and sending them to the government or something crazy,” she said.

Another insider added the act felt like sabotage on multiple levels. “This was not just the destruction of personal items,” they said. “The diaries captured Khloé’s unfiltered inner life and the beginnings of a creative vision she wanted to own. Watching them be burned meant losing an archive of her own experiences, along with the chance to translate that history into a story told entirely on her own terms. The impact was lasting.”

Kardashian also said the incident ended her relationship with journaling altogether.

“Because I just felt like, ‘Wow, that was taken away in a f—— blink, and what was the point?’ “I’m not going to start a journal again and have someone destroy it, or I lose it. It’s more, I’m going to say traumatic for me, but I just don’t even want to open that up again.”

Friends say the loss also reshaped the reality TV star’s view of ownership and memory.

“I think it just made me (realize)… you don’t get to really keep anything in this world, and it’s, maybe that’s OK,” Kardashian said. “I used to hold onto all these things, and sometimes I will write something, but then just throw it away. I don’t try to replace what I once had.”

Still, she acknowledged the absence left behind. “I wish I had those books just to see like, what were my thoughts then,” she said, reflecting on how journals allow people to look back and reassess their past selves. “It’s such a beautiful process to do, and so I do hate that I don’t do it anymore.”

One source said: “Those journals were far more than pages filled with thoughts. They contained the narrative of her life as she lived it, and potentially the blueprint for a film she hoped to make one day. When they were destroyed, it was not just the past that disappeared, but a future she had quietly been building as well.”